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Thursday, September 11th, 2003
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9:35 pm
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So I can graduate this year. Yay. I can move away from Acadia for good and perhaps not bother with Newfoundland at all. Jerard and I have made plans for the fall, with the way things are going between us so far it's seems like it will happen. Good. As for here and now, let's just say that once again "she" has attempted to screw me over. Good try. I love how people make up lies and say that I started them or said them. Yet people actually believe her. Well everyone except Colin, and that's cause he pretty much knew me better than anyone in the whole world. I guess Nicole just doesn't see through the bullshit. Oh well, like Mom and Megs have said, her loss.
I've finally gotten my room under control and finished the final touches a few hours ago. Now it really is home. If Jerard were here everything would be perfect.
So this will be my last journal update since people are so interested in getting added to my friends list so they can poke around. Shoulda known better than to start one of these, even for fun. So for those of you reading this, have a nice life. Best of luck with everything.
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame"
~Benjamin Franklin~
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| Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
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7:56 pm - NO PBD = NO Girls Night
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No PBD = No Girls Night. called nicole a couple times today, she wasn't home, guess she's at mark's. nuff said, guess wings are off for tonight. so it's about that time to get a shower and go meet my boys. it always comes back to me and my boys. i've always had a group of guy friends that i could depend on...surprisingly (or not) jon gaye has been on the guy team quite frequently, people who don't like him don't know him, or don't understand where he's coming from i guess. oh well their loss. i've always had "my boys" and people found that strange, i guess it's because most girls have a best friend or multiple girl friends...yeah, not me. i'm used to getting screwed around by mary, diana, steph, kat, megs, jen...the only one who's never fucked me in anyway is jill...my one real girlfriend in life i guess. oh well maybe i'm luckier than most, who knows. but i've always had my boys here, at STU, at Acadia, here again. I've always hated being just "one of the guys" but hey, at least i know that being one of the guys is leading me somewhere most nights, even if it is just to tim hortons or the mall. and this time my boys include my boyfriend, so i don't have to worry about offending anyone or making them jelous. good. and i get to see my jardie whenever i want and not have to arrange my schedule around two sets of people. i've done that for too long...boyfriends and friends just never mix for me, maybe now they will. who knows.
well that's my rant. story of my life. now i'm waiting for jerard to call me from the jive so i can go meet them. we'll spend a few hours with the boys then take off for some us time. it'll be fun, but not as good as wings with nicole. whatev. maybe she'll want to go out some other time...well before i leave in a week... if not i guess it's more time for me and jerard...could be okay. anyway i'm going to practice guitar while i wait for dad to get out of the shower. yippee.
you'd think i'd be happy because the phones went down for 45 minutes before i came home...but surprisingly i feel quite shitty. dammit all to hell.
"one for sorrow, two for joy, three for girls, and four for boys. five for silver, six for gold, seven for the secret never to be told..."
~counting crows ~ a murder of one~
current mood: bitter as all hell
current music: counting crows - rain king
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| Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
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4:23 pm - A day off...whatever
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So it's my second day off this week. Blah. I'm not especially thrilled by the prospect either. Jerard's working today so I have nothing to do. Nicole's working too but I haven't really seen her in days so I didn't expect to see her this afternoon. I had to see Tracy this morning and that went well, it was my last session before I go back to school, it only lasted a little over half an hour so I had time to run a few errands. i needed to pick up some pills and order contacts and stuff. then i came home and had lunch. after that i spent an hour learning to play guitar. jerard's letting me borrow his acoustic and i'm slowly learning. john ennis was helping me learn elderly woman by pearl jam. i don't really know how to play it at all but it seems like it would be a good first song, perhaps i can surprise jerard before i go back. who knows. i was talking to nicole earlier and we're supposed to go out, but that could all change depending on what mark is doing tonight. i'm talking to jon gaye online right now and i think jerard and them are going out tonight, he invited me along. i guess i'll go for a bit until nicole is supposed to get off and then i'll see what's up. it's great that she's got a boyfriend, i'm so glad she's finally happy, but it comes at a shitty time now that i'm less than 2 weeks away from moving back to wolfvegas. oh well, like i told jerard, there's always the phone and the computer. well dad's home and he's yelling so i'm going to have to go and set the table. gross spaghettie for supper, looks like more hot dogs for me. then i have to wash the car. lucky me. at least i get to see jerard again at 7:30. i just got back a little while ago from surprising him on his lunch break...i brought ice cream. god i love that boy. anyway, wish me luck...
"hearts and thoughts they fade away"
~pearl jam ~ elderly woman behind the counter in a small town~
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| Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
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7:28 pm
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so it's wednesday and i'm finally getting a chance to update again. st john's was a blast! we had such a great time. we got into the city early friday evening and the first stop was annette's place to unload our stuff. on the way there we almost ran over liz furey. we gave her a ride to her place and nicole went in to look at the apartment. she's living there with liz in october...i don't really know how that's going to work, hopefully for nicole's sake she can slip liz some valium and calm her the fuck down. the last time she was in town she made such an ass of herself we had to drag her out of the bar with our heads hung in shame and embarrassment. either way i'm sure nic can lay down the law... back to the trip, after liz's we went to wendy's...mmmm....then to musicstop. i bought angela an elton john piano book. it cost me like 22 bucks but i thought she'd like it. god knows why i even bother buying her stuff or doing anything for her, she hates me either way. but i like to give presents so it was cool. after that we hit the village mall where i spent more money. i bought a kick ass care bear address book...perhaps my best find of the trip? or maybe the 5$ tank tops from suzy shier...meh whatev, everything i bought was wicked. jerard bough 13 cds while we were there (12 for him and 1 for me, pj - versus). after the mall we hit the LC and stockwoods for beer. we went back to annette's and got loaded. nicole got so drunk she could barely walk. it was funny. i had to drag her into the bathroom to pee, i tried to make her drink water but she spit it back in my face! hahah what a laugh. jerard, me and mark smoked too much weed...and i made lots of toast! hahah we picked up a bunch of groceries for breakfast sat and sun mornings. we basically ate toast 6 times the whole weekend. blech. but that did not stop us from pigging out on wendy's again, peter's pizza and numerous meals at the food court. i swear i came back 15 lbs heavier! hahah just what i need. i was the first person up on saturday (believe it!) but that wasn't until like 11:30. nicole was nursing a pretty bad headache. she looked like she'd been hit by a truck when she finally emerged from under the sleeping bag she was sharing with dork. i took it pretty easy on the liquor both night so i was feeling fine. i cooked breakfast and we all showered. we headed downtown where jerard bought the bulk of his cds. then we headed to the avalon...woot woot. i bought so much stuff. 4 tank tops, 5 pairs of underwear from la senza (where else!?), chocolate body paint, one of those sleeping eye covery things...what are they called? whatever hahah i also bought that address book, a pilates video, that book for ange, a new shirt, and i bunch of stuff from clair's, after thoughts and ardene. jerard bought me stuff too which he shouldn't have. i mean it's so nice that he thinks of me but really, i've never had a guy buy me things...i've always been the one spending money. i mean really...what did colin, core and tom ever buy for me? not much. well besides christmas' and birthdays. just because gifts. never. j'ardie bought me a pearl jam cd i didn't have, the movie pretty in pink and a pair of kick ass lounge pants from wally mart that cost 20 bucks. plus he wouldn't let me pay for any meals or anything. i don't know what it was about this weekend but love was certainly in the air. mark and nicole sort of hooked up...which was cute. i think they're unofficially dating now...i'll find out soon i'm sure. as for me and jerard...well we took our relationship to the "next level" as they say. it was unexpected but very romantic. i love him more now if that's possible. i always thought that falling more in love after you "make love" was an old wives tale...not at all. he even told me he loved me a whole bunch during it. he has to be the most amazing guy i've ever met. i don't know what i'm going to do without him in september, this goodbye may even be worse than saying goodbye to colin before i went to stu. i can't think about that... :(
anyway saturday after the mall we went to see a movie...s.w.a.t. it was surprisingly good. i was impressed. colin ferrell's acting is starting grow on me. i really wanted to see gigli but no one else did so i'll have to wait for jlo and ben to come out on video... speaking of colins...colin newman was the first person i saw when i walked into the avalon mall. he was with lydia kendell. i was shocked. i did NOT expect to see him at all. oh well i felt a slight twinge but then i looked at j'ardie and everything was amazing again. and hey, maybe colin saw me with him and wanted to go throw up. i sure hope so. he'll regret the day he gave me but it's already too late. heh, i still cannot believe he cheated on me. oh well, i know that jerard loves me and it's for real. i trust him completely. even more than colin. i love jerard so much.
anyway, so i mentioned in my last brief update that jill was here visiting. i hope she had a fun time. i'm pretty ssure she did, we went to the cabin a lot like i said and a bunch of us took a road trip to fortune harbour and glover's harbour and places like that to show her around. we went to see pale blue dot play at the rock while trooper were here. jill and joe dominix made a total connection and spent the last four days of her time here joined at the hip. i was so happy for them because they are such great people. jill deserves the best guy in the whole world, joe may not be that man but he's a start. me, jerard, joe and nicole took her to gander to catch her flight home. it was a quick but sad goodbye. joe seemed very sad. on the way back to gf we stopped into the gander mall where nicole and i made our routine stop at the bookworm and saans! jerard and joe played guitars at the music store. i think sunday in the day if i have the car jerard and i will go to gander so he can buy one of them. as we drove around gander looking for restaurants (after the mall) i spotted a sex store and did i uturn to get to it. hahah. we went in, it was a total laugh. the guy that owned it was there (darlyn perhaps teehee) and he was saying all this funny dirty stuff. it was great. he thought joe and nicole were a couple and kept commenting that he bet that nicole was "sloppy". it was quite vulgar but good for a laugh. jerard bough handcuffs (hahahah i know! craziness..they're blakc and fuzzy...and fun!) and lube for us. we laughed a lot. eventually we left and went to see freddie prinze jr at the irving restaurant. nicole wanted to ask him for his autograph but i refused. hahah. we headed home to jerard could work and i went back to bed. it was a fun trip. i've had a lot of fun road trips this summer. i think it's because nicole and i kick ass...what do you think?! haha
anyway mom and dad have been gone away sinc elast sunday and aren't supposed to be coming home until this sunday coming but apparantly they're coming in town tomorrow because the van is acting up. if they get it fixed they might sell it. dad might actually part with his baby. i always hated the thing but i have a sad pang when i think about it...how wrong is that!? so since mom and dad may be home tomorrow angela is kicking even more ass about the house and leaving it all up to me. turns out i don't EVER do ANYTHING around the house...who knew?! what else is new tho right? it's ange, she's been out to get me for years. oh well i'll have this place clean by the time she shows up at 10:30 and i'll be showered and ready to go out. go me! unfortunately tonight is wing night...why do i say unfortunately? because nicole invited dork which is fine, but dork invited maggie. now i personally think that was uncool, but i can't really figure out on who's part. i mean i don't care if dork comes because i've invited jerard, but should nicole have known that he'd invote maggie? probably not. but she didn't say anything to him either. if jerard was coming out with us and decided to bring jon gaye knowing full well he and nicole don't get along i'd tell him it was a bad idea. but on the other hand i'm kinda pissed at dork for telling nicole he'd come out with us and then inviting maggie. very uncool. he should be lucky to be invited out on GIRLS night (which is part of the reason i never push jerard to go. it's my night dammit!) as it is let alone bring goddamn maggie. whatever, if she really does go then i think i'll go home. if nicole pushes for me to go then i'll make an appearance and take off. i could use a good night sleep for once. oh well, i'll let you know how things turn out with me and big bad mag.
time for pilates then cleaning in my undies...fun fun fun. it's too hot. blah.
"if you wanna get to heaven then you gotta take a ride"
~amanda marshall~
current mood:  bitchy
current music: duet by amanda marshall and yours truly - believe in you
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| Friday, August 8th, 2003
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9:51 am - Sin City here we come!!!
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So it's just about that time...me, jerard, nicole and dork are going to st john's for the weekend! woot woot. nicole should be here any second and then we're off...and again i say woot woot! heh
so jill was here for the past 10 days or so...we had an AWESOME time! it was so great to see her. we spent so much time at the cabin it was unbelieveable...i forgot how much i love it up there. jerard and i are planning a trip up the next time we have a day off so that should be great... :) i really hope jill had fun here, i aws afraid she wouldn't like it here and she wouldn't get along with anyone...
oh wait nicole's here...i'll finish on sunday!!!
sj baby!! woot woot
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| Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
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4:34 pm
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so dad finally got fed up and called acadia. i guess he got tired of me being a pussy and not calling bastable. oh well, fuck it. maybe now i'll find out if i'm gonna graduate. i'm pretty sure i'll be able to though, i spent three hours yesterday afternoon picking out my courses for next year. even if i don't pass these two courses because i didn't write the finals i still have room to take them next year...i'm probably over-looking something but who knows. i'll just go see moody when i get back and he'll give me the news...whatever that will be. a part of me almost doesnt want to graduate cause then i have to deal with all those fucking grad functions that i know colin and all the other bastards from here will be attending. blech.
on another note...a much happier note! JILL IS COMING IN TWO DAYS!!!! yayayayay! i hope she has fun, i know grand falls isn't very exciting but i just can't wait to see her! i really hope she and nicole hit it off, i don't know what i'll do if they don't... jerard is already a little weird about her coming because he knows i won't be spending much time with him and he's right. i mean how often does your best friend come to visit?? and this will be her first time in newfoundland so i want to make it extra special! as long as he doesn't get too pissy it'll be fine i guess. i know that nicole won't mind hanging out with both of us so that's one less thing to worry about... if jerard was old enough to go to the bar and places like that then that wouldn't be a problem either... oh well we'll just have to wait and see.
so i finally got my destance ed course to work...thank god. now all i have to do is print off some of the material to read at work when chris is off again and i'm golden...
anyway i'm sweating that a beast so i guess it's time to get a shower and head out to the work to drop off those shift switch forms to cathy peckford. wooo. i think it'll be a cold shower today...
lata gata
"once divided, nothing left to subtract...some words when spoken, can't be taken back"
current mood:  indifferent
current music: chantel - surrounded
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| Monday, July 21st, 2003
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9:33 am
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well yesterday was pretty shitty...i was upset all day...well after i got up at 2. so i decided to go back to bed. i had weird dreams about colin all night and all day. i was desturbed by some of them. i got up to the sound of dad yelling - as per usual - so i had to get up again. i decided to clean out my closet... what did i find you ask? a bunch of cards that colin had returned to me after we broke up. i looked inside and found a card that had not yet been opened. i opened it, it was from the day that he brought everything back i guess...it was so sweet, i burst into tears. i called nicole. no one answered, just my luck. a little later jerard called and asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit, i figured i had to do something to cheer myself up so i got him to come over. when he got here i felt instantly better, and even more so when mom and dad informed us that they were going to terry and diane's for supper and wouldn't be home until late. so we stayed here and hung out. ange and nick came here too. the sad thing is i think i know that jerard knew something was up... i don't ever want him to think i love colin more than him. he's helped so much to make this one of the best summers i've had in awhile...
anyway there's my rant...i'll finish it later. it's 9:40 and i have to shower and be at work by 10...fuck.
hopefully today will be better...doubtful, chris is back. fuck it all.
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| Monday, July 14th, 2003
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9:33 am
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it's only 9:33 am and my anxiety is horrible...what the hell is in store for me today...i need sleep...my body with shut down in a few days without more of it, that i'm sure of. fuck. i could throw up. oh well off to work, dammit i'm a tracbitch.
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| Saturday, July 12th, 2003
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9:53 pm
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had a day off today (and tomorrow too!), nicole and i spent the day at the cabin. we had a bbq (yum yum) and we played with my new present. yup nicole bought me a kick-ass present from e-bay, probably the best i've ever gotten, it was a she-ra puzzle...not even opened! it's from 1985. so today we opened it and put it together. eventually i am going to glue it together and frame it so i can put it on my wall at school. i was super pumped, nicole issuch an awesome chick! i love her so much!
had a wonderful wake-up call this morning (that's three words so far with hypens...wtf!?)... mom woke me up a little after 10:30 and said i was wanted on the phone, it was jerard...i was kinda worried at first because he had only gone into work at 10:30 and it was way too early for a first break...but as it turned out he spazzed and thought he had to work but he didn't have to be in until 12:30...what a cutie. so he called me to see if i was up so i got up and we went to tim's for "breakfast"...well cafe mocha (which i'm also enjoying right now compliments of nicole and a pit-stop (4!!) on the way home) it was a great way to spend the morning...what a sweetie that boy is. how could i EVER think colin and corey treated me well, i must be a blood-born (holy fuck) idiot. oh well i'm with him now and that's all that matters...i'm starting to stress over leaving him in september. i think i'm falling for him and i'm afraid of going through the pain of leaving someone again... i try to put it out of my mind...it's going to be hard enough to leave nicole. i never thought i'd find such a great friend living right here in shitty old gfw.
anyway just wanted to quickly update before i shower...nicole and i are heading out to the rock to see pbd again!! i think i'm borrowing pants from her, i hope she brings me a nice pair of jeans...i feel like being casual. yet i'm sure i'll still get drunk haha pbd brings out the booze-hound in me (goddamn fucking hyphens...aleah what the fuck are you doing!?!?!) either way... i'm gone
"it's better to burn out than to fade away"
annette if you read this i hope you're coming out tonight too!!
current mood:  bouncy
current music: live - heaven
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| Friday, July 11th, 2003
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1:39 am - Uh Oh...
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there was a note on the counter from dad when i got in tonight...it said: ALEAH: I WILL BE HOME TOMORROW MORNING TO TALK TO YOU SO BE OUT OF BED. DAD. i mean seriously...what the fuck!? i can't think of anything that happened today that would cause him to be pissy with me. fuck. i hate this bullshit. why in the hell do they have to try to control my life?! i'm too tired and upset for this tonight. mrs james died today. i loved that woman and i cried a lot. crying exhausts me. i did get to see jerard after all though at tim's so that cheered me up a little...now if only ange would get off the phone i could go call him...oh well i'll let you know what goes down with dad...wish me luck...
"i'm cool, i'm calm, i'm gonna be okay..."
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| Tuesday, July 8th, 2003
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11:38 am
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fought with mom again today. this is the story of my life. i hate how we don't get along but sometimes she just makes me so mad.
i had to see tracy this morning at 9. i was so pumped because it was 9 in the morning and i was up, not tired, and in a great mood...shoulda known better. i got to her office and i was so pumped to tell her about the progress i'd made but she dropped a bomb on me...mom had called there this morning to "discuss" me and my lack of work (school work that is). i could NOT believe it. tracy didn't tell her anything of course but i was still so mad...especially when she told me that mom had said that they were "unsure about whether or not they would be sending me back to acadia". i could have cried i was so crushed. but still, i was so angry that i could have killed people. i talked to trace for an hour about what to do about school and she suggested i call bastable. i couldn't bring myself to call him but i did suck it up and email him. now i'm nervously waiting for his response...i don't think i'll check until tomorrow, give myself time to prepare for the worst. either way i came home out of it and ignored mom. i just couldn't even look at her. i was furious and so hurt. i went in my room, put on audioslave really loud and cleaned up my room. mom and dad's damn friends, chris and glo are coming today...god they piss me off. i mean they're nice people but they're hardcore penny or something and i feel like a sinner 24/7 when they're here! oh well fuck it. it's my house. so mom was cleaning the house when i finally emerged from my room to send the email and then she started picking at me, "whatcha doing?", "who're you emailing?". my response? call tracy and ask her. then we duked it out. i think i finally got my point across but i could be wrong...sometimes she's as retarded as the speds she works with. fuck.
so yeah, new topic. last night...
so great! i felt so relaxed (even tho my family is fucked). nicole and i were supposed to go out and then jerard's friends ditched him so we decided to hang out, all three of us. i felt so great because i got to spend time with them both. either way i was going out with nicole, i was so excited to hang out with her yesterday...it was kinda weird. not weird really, just a surprising amount of excited for a movie night. either way it turned out great. we rented 'one hour photo', grabbed mcdonald's, and came here. i loved it cause it's my two favourite people together. i was happy.
jerard. god he's great. i don't know what it is about him that i love, yeah love. or at least starting to. i feel like he genuinely likes me. for me. no matter what. he's so respectful and considerate. he showers me with affection and praise and he never lets me pay for a thing. sound familiar? NOPE! and why not? oh right...cause every other boyfriend i've ever had has taken me for granted from the very start so i didn't know the difference. i like him so much.
gotta jet quickly...chris and glo just showed up and i'm in a towel...as usual, mom's not ready...
update later
"anyone who doesn't like nicole is an ASSHOLE!"
~aleah~
heh
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003
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5:35 pm - Independence Day = Great Day for Aleah
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So it's about time I got my own LiveJournal so I can catch up with Nicole and Annette. It's about 2 hours before I have to don that silly headset and start taking calls from the damn yanks...oh well today is the 4th of July so it will be a really sloooow day. Thank God. Nicole is off at 7:30 which sucks cause work is so much more fun when she's there, but Jerard and Colin will be there so it won't be too boring. I get to kiss my sweetie when Brian's not looking! Yay! xo
After work Nicole and Annette and I are heading out to the Rock to see John's band, Pale Blue Dot, perform. Maybe Nicole will get up the nerve to ask out Brad Morgan...doubtful that she will, but she needs to suck it up and do it! I mean seriously what's the worst he can say? umm, no? Exactly! And he'd be CRAZY not to say yes because Nicole's such a great chick. Oh well I guess she'll do it all in her own time...still it was pretty funny when Annette and I took her keys the other night...she looked terrified. I'd ask for her if she'd let me, but we both know that's too junior high for words...oh well, The Hulk will be here soon enough and she'll DEFINITELY ask him then!
So yeah, Colin Newman is messaging me on ICQ. WTF!? He goes out with me three nights in a row before he goes to SJ to live with his girlfriend. He tells me how much he cares for me and blah blah blah. Like the fuck! Now he lives with the Mole out in SJ and i don't hear from him except when his conscious bothers him...oh well, I've got Jerard now. Who know's where that path will lead but for right now I'm ecstatic...he treats me so well and I think I might really be able to trust him...I like him so much! I just dread the day I have to leave him and go back to school...
Oh well let's not think about that right now, let's think about the trip to Terra Nova tomorrow and the date with Jerard in the evening...mmm my baby...
Well I'm off to shower...V05 Hot Oil is waiting to create a mass of beautifully moisturized locks...riiight
"Being loved keeps you young"
~~ Madonna ~~
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